Josh and I are working on "The Broken Heart Of Ogopogo" (well Josh is done, so now it's my turn)
One of the first things we did was reattack how i had originally laid out the story. I always wanted that first panel to be a splash page, but in the interests of speed, I incorporated into the first page. Josh brought some of that back. He slowed the pace and let the script breathe more and really crafted it into a more solid story.
This is the layout split that happened when Josh got ahold of it. He really opened up the whole idea, i think you guys will enjoy it.